I need to get all my ducks in a row
It doesn't sound heartless to me. It sounds like a fabulous plan. It's not heartless to do what's necessary to take care of yourself. Your plan is quite similar to the plan I'd made for myself and then put in place six months ago.
It took me about a year to get my finances in order, figure out how to increase my income, and how to put a budget in place. Then every day, I worked my plan. Six months ago, I let go of my failing relationship and started out on my own. Because I'd taken the time to take care of myself and plan for the future, the transition was relatively pain free, financially speaking.
My life has changed drastically in the past six months. I no longer worry about what condition my A will be when I come home from work. I no longer worry about whether he'll end up in the emergency room after a particularly bad binge. In fact, I no longer worry about his drinking or how he lives his life at all. It's his life and he's free to live it in any manner he chooses. I just choose not to go along for the ride.
Letting go of a bad relationship was the best thing I've done for myself in a long time. Chaos, confusion, and pain are no longer parts of my daily life. I've replaced them with happiness, peace, and serenity.