Thanks again folks for your prayers and kind words. I seem to be a bit unstable right now. It frightens me sometimes how quickly I go from being perfectly fine to being upset and yelling. Today I was feeling fine. My husband went to the grocery store with me at 10 am, early for him. But when we had put the groceries away, he layed down on the couch to watch tv and sleep. I went nuts, he does so little around the house. He does do some, but far short of what I think is appropriate. So I told him how I felt, I raised me voice but didn't really yell. I told him that he was doing the bare minimum and that I never asked for much, but I expect more than the bare minimum. He finally got up and started doing something all the while asking when I was going out.
This issue is not related to his drinking really, I think it is a basic differance in our values and basic nature. I am trying to keep the focus on me, but a large voice that will not be denied anymore says this is not fair. I think my boundaries are forming stronger and if he doesn't get a job soon, we will be finished. I haven't told him that this time. I have learned not to give ultimatiums. But I did tell him that I don't know how much longer I can live this way. ( thanks JT).
Thanks for your help this weekend.