"* My check-in included a "jokey" reference to my fear of being overbearing or abrasive. Several people interjected with their perceptions that I am helpful, confident and not at all abrasive. That was nice of them. "
oh ja?
what if it wasn't nice at all and they were actually telling you how they really experience your presence??
couple of days agoi went to a little artsy place i've been in many times over the last dozen years and that i had found only because one of my daughters, B, had a shop pretty much next door and knew everyone.
the framer i was looking for was not there but her co- worker gave me the framer's email address and i emailed her and introduced myself as B's mom, M, as that is how everyone there has always known me, B's mom.
in her reply she expressed her surprise.....she had never known i am B's mom!
all these years, more than a decade, i had assumed she joked and laughed and liked me mainly or only because of my daughter.
turns out....she had no idea.
you get my point.