convinced77

hi im 39 and i've been sitting here drinking since last night. i called off work today so i can keep on drinking. i'm a son to two alcoholic parents that died a long time ago. i started drinking at 14 and realized i couldn't stop at around 19. i spent my20s in and out of jail. in my late 20s i had a son then a daughter a few years later and that mellowed me out a little but eventually i became an everyday blackout drunk. in the last year i've been on and off antibuse and that cleaned me up for a few months, but when i started drinking again i was way worse. i got another dui to make it 4 lifetime. i get stupid drunk and make an ass out of myself when i go anywhere. my wife is done and only stays with me because i'm the only income. i just sat here this morning and came to the conclusion that i'm in a really bad situation and i am out of ideas. i called aa and they said go to a meeting and i know thats the answer or at least i hope thats the answer. if that doesn't work then i am completely hopeless. i don't know what excactly i'm looking for but i feel like putting myself out there might be a step in the right direction. maybe someone can relate. right now i can 100% tell you that i'm an alcoholic and i just want to do something with that realization before i sober up and feel better and tell myself i am just as normal as any other drinker. thanks