Originally Posted by
Gabe1980 
... I have managed to make significant changes over several years but I am still at risk of significant harm when drinking... I feel like to universe was showing me exactly what I am capable of and yet I still can't accept or properly hear it. Why is that? Why do I lie to myself?
Can anyone help with this as I need to understand?
It is rather simple, actually. The part of you that argues endlessly for another fix is not interested in the downsides of drinking at all, and you are trying to abstain from those downsides. As you've learned, those downsides are not easy to keep at the forefront of your mind for long, and they would not deter your desire, in any case.
Try abstaining from the benefits of alcohol instead -- from that deep buzz. In the end, it is the anticipation of that deep buzz that probably does you in, not anticipation of the downsides. Those memories come and go, but the memory of that perfect buzz remains. Forsake the benefits.
Originally Posted by
Berrybean My biggest problem was "okay, but HOW DO I RECOGNISE MY ADDICTIVE VOICE?" How would I know when it was my sane reasoning, rational brain and when it ws that lying sneaky cheat of an AV??
As I understand it, the AV is:
1. Any thinking or feeling that supports, suggests, or directs your possible future use of alcohol and other drugs.
2. Any thinking or feeling which contradicts never drinking or using again in any way, shape, or form.
3. Any self-doubt about maintaining perfect lifetime abstinence from alcohol and other drugs, which obviously suggests the opposite.