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Alcoholic Voice

Old 08-21-2017, 04:35 AM
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Alcoholic Voice

Hi Everyonethanks,

I'm new to this and feel it's time to make a change. I fuction well 80% of the time but the other 20% can be absolutely disaterous. I have managed to make significant changes over several years but I am still at risk of significant harm when drinking.

I'm interested in understanding more about my 'alcoholic voice'. I can have something horrific happen as the result of alcohol (as it did on Saturday) and still I can feel my resolve slipping and it's like the experience will just slide off me, as it has done in the past. It's terrifying not to learn from such extreme behaviour. I feel like to universe was showing me exactly what I am capable of and yet I still can't accept or properly hear it. Why is that? Why do I lie to myself?

Can anyone help with this as I need to understand?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Gabe
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Old 08-21-2017, 04:53 AM
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The 'AV' is a part of you but, it is not you. It is also referred to as "The Beast". I put it in a cage and don't feed it! It is my enemy and I refuse to let it contol me. I never let it get a chance to have it's say anymore because it is not or ever was my friend.
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Old 08-21-2017, 04:58 AM
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I totally relate to your post, could have written it myself.
For me, I needed to go into treatment to 'reset' my thinking and give my mind (and body) time to get some clarity and basically force myself away from alcohol. A few days of no alcohol was not enough for me, I needed 21 days. And it helped a lot!
Once you significantly reduce the brain fog, actually remove all alcohol from your system (can take upwards of 10 days) and put in place some help (cbt therapy, exercise, art, anything really that doesn't involve drinking) you will find that clarity of mind and it will be easier to stop falling back into old and dangerous ways.
Good luck to you on your recovery journey it's worth the effort.
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Old 08-21-2017, 05:18 AM
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Thank you Poppy79. I think using this forum is a good first step towards working towards the truth of my alcohol misuse. I have also become aware of how fragile my self-worth is and need to work of self-acceptance and love. I am really glad things are going well for you.
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Old 08-21-2017, 06:13 AM
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I'm still pretty new too, but I've been doing a LOT of reading over the past week. A method that may work for you is AVRT or the separation of yourself and your AV -you are not your AV; it's just a voice that you can learn to acknowledge and then ignore.

Also there's a great thread on here about urge surfing which is something that may help you. I'll try to find the link for you if someone else hasn't posted it already.

It's definitely a struggle to learn how to deal with the AV but I second everyone else here when I say you should look into meetings and programs and make a recovery plan for yourself. Allowing yourself support and being able to lean on it will definitely help. And everyone here is amazing and will be here should you need it.

Good luck! You can definitely do this.

EDIT: can't post the link bc my post count isn't high enough, but I'm someone else will probably post. You can also just search "urge surfing" in the forum and it'll most likely bring it up.
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Old 08-21-2017, 06:22 AM
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A mentor of mine asked me once who has deceived you the most? A lot of names came to mind and I shared a few with him. He asked of me why did you not include yourself? Oh yes the one that I look at in the mirror each day. It was revealed to my mind's eye that is the one who has deceived me the most. Self-deception is one of the devil's tools. Who is a fool? A fool is one who fools themself. Keep an eye on the one in the mirror.

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Old 08-21-2017, 06:55 AM
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My biggest problem was "okay, but HOW DO I RECOGNISE MY ADDICTIVE VOICE?" How would I know when it was my sane reasoning, rational brain and when it ws that lying sneaky cheat of an AV??



Then someone told me (probably on here) - if it rationalising (making excuses for) taking a drink, then it's your AV.

Ohhhhh yeah!! Lol. I realised as long as I could remember that much then I would know when to ignore it.


That AV does get quieter and quieter the longer it's been starved - so the longer it is between your last drink and NOW, the quieter it will become.

We cannot do anything to actually shut the voice up. Nope. Only time will help on that score. So, its important to learn to recognise it and just ignore it and don't engage in debates with it. Have you ever tried arguing with someone who just lies about everything? If so you can imagine what debating drinking or not is like with your AV. It is inherantly dishonest, so there is no way to be a winner other than don't play in the first place, or, if you get sucked into an inner debate, as soon as you realise that's what is happening, take an official Time-Out and walk away immediately.

And its worth remembering, that much like flea eggs, those little buggers don't die off just because they seem inactive. It only takes us becoming an active host (by taking a drink) and that beast will hatch out and hop all over our brain again.

BB
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Old 08-21-2017, 07:25 AM
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Hi Gabe1980, and welcome!

Here is the Secular Connections subforum:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

The Addictive Voice is explained here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

Good stuff in there! That little voice is an annoying liar.
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Old 08-21-2017, 07:38 AM
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Thank you

I just want to take a minute and say thank you to everyone who posted. I'm going to look into all the links and reading suggested. This is the first time I've tried to stop drinking and be part of a community and being able to share makes it seem so much more managable. I am hopeful!
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Old 08-21-2017, 07:47 AM
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Gabe, I'd suggest you read everything you have time for on this site - there is a lot of collective wisdom and experience here, from the Anxiety forum to the Friends and Family side, Spirituality, 12 Step, Secular Recovery, and everything in between. I learned so much and am forever grateful for this site's deep well of information.
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Old 08-21-2017, 07:51 AM
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Fantastic! The more posts you read and the more posting you do helps enormously! We become a 'close family' that cares about you! We are always there for you 24/7
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Old 08-21-2017, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980 View Post
... I have managed to make significant changes over several years but I am still at risk of significant harm when drinking... I feel like to universe was showing me exactly what I am capable of and yet I still can't accept or properly hear it. Why is that? Why do I lie to myself?

Can anyone help with this as I need to understand?
It is rather simple, actually. The part of you that argues endlessly for another fix is not interested in the downsides of drinking at all, and you are trying to abstain from those downsides. As you've learned, those downsides are not easy to keep at the forefront of your mind for long, and they would not deter your desire, in any case.

Try abstaining from the benefits of alcohol instead -- from that deep buzz. In the end, it is the anticipation of that deep buzz that probably does you in, not anticipation of the downsides. Those memories come and go, but the memory of that perfect buzz remains. Forsake the benefits.

Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
My biggest problem was "okay, but HOW DO I RECOGNISE MY ADDICTIVE VOICE?" How would I know when it was my sane reasoning, rational brain and when it ws that lying sneaky cheat of an AV??
As I understand it, the AV is:

1. Any thinking or feeling that supports, suggests, or directs your possible future use of alcohol and other drugs.

2. Any thinking or feeling which contradicts never drinking or using again in any way, shape, or form.

3. Any self-doubt about maintaining perfect lifetime abstinence from alcohol and other drugs, which obviously suggests the opposite.
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Old 08-21-2017, 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted by dpac414 View Post
Also there's a great thread on here about urge surfing which is something that may help you. I'll try to find the link for you if someone else hasn't posted it already.

EDIT: can't post the link bc my post count isn't high enough, but I'm someone else will probably post. You can also just search "urge surfing" in the forum and it'll most likely bring it up.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

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