I'm still pretty new too, but I've been doing a LOT of reading over the past week. A method that may work for you is AVRT or the separation of yourself and your AV -you are not your AV; it's just a voice that you can learn to acknowledge and then ignore.
Also there's a great thread on here about urge surfing which is something that may help you. I'll try to find the link for you if someone else hasn't posted it already.
It's definitely a struggle to learn how to deal with the AV but I second everyone else here when I say you should look into meetings and programs and make a recovery plan for yourself. Allowing yourself support and being able to lean on it will definitely help. And everyone here is amazing and will be here should you need it.
Good luck! You can definitely do this.
EDIT: can't post the link bc my post count isn't high enough, but I'm someone else will probably post. You can also just search "urge surfing" in the forum and it'll most likely bring it up.