you have every right to speak your mind - especially when it involves ANYONE being "invited" into your home without your prior knowledge or consent. that's just rude.
and your husband has the right to engage with his "child" as he sees fit, no matter how dysfunctional it is.
but this where world's collide - HIS dysfunction is poisoning the home environment, YOUR sanity, your safe place.
maybe YOU take a week off, or at least set up shop for a week in a nice hotel, one with fancy little soaps and nice room service.