Can I clobber your son on the head!
I won't permanently wound him ... just make him hurt a bit....
I suspect that if your son isn't acting like a son, perhaps you don't need to treat him like a son. At one point I cut all contact with family for more than 6 months, less than a year ... not sure exactly how long.
After I started letting them back into my life it was on a different footing and at least for several years things were much better. Unfortunately at some point (mostly due to drinking) I let them back in and it is a nightmare to try and untangle the mess now.
I'm not sure what you can/should/want to do, there isn't a right answer. I do believe it is one of those times where you may want to just do what YOU feel like you can live with as easily as possible. A time when it might not be wise to consider his needs, but rather what makes you comfortable.
When my son was on everyone's "looser list" they wanted me to kick him out. They said it would be the best thing for him ... make him get a job and get a life. I didn't do that. Basically, it was no skin off my back if he stayed with me .... he is the one who will end up with no job possibilities ,no place to live, etc. when I die. And I have always known that for ME I would pay his bail to get out of jail because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't. Even knowing he may need a wake up call. I just don't want to be the wake up call. He will get one eventually, no action necessary on my part.
OK ... none of that had anything to do with your situation steely!
Not sure why that is what came out on my keyboard...
The meeting tonight was on step 4 and 5 and reviewing 1,2 & 3... I told them that I really have no idea how this will work out for me as I don't believe in a god to turn my life over to or to restore me to sanity (step 2 and 3). I told them I would let them know what happens when I get to those steps
I do remember from past step work that they only work if you are honest about them and not just pretending. For me I would say that I believe that the spiritual path I am on will restore me to sanity, and I focus each day on remembering that my life and my will are not really my own... I turn those over to the spiritual path I am following. And that path (the 5-10 precepts of Buddhism) is based on morality, meditation and giving. I figure that accomplishes step 2 and 3, but it isn't what the original AAers had in mind ... so I'm not sure exactly how this will all pull together.
OK ... I need to go to bed. I set my alarm for the morning and hope I won't turn it off. The other day I was asleep and Chris got Gunny to get on the bed and cudgel up next to me ... and I didn't wake up
Love to all!