Originally Posted by
Dee74 
Doesn't sound laughable Lava but sounds dangerous to me. If you have no strategy for dealing with wanting to drink, there's a great risk you'll be blindsided, especially on a vacation.
A lot of people are reluctant to make a plan - it makes this recovery forever thing real, or more real, and that spooks people sometimes.
You are possibly right about the reluctance on my part, Dee. I've also been thinking that it could be the reason I'm not actively addressing the issue of having alcohol in the house. I haven't even broached the subject with my husband. I think I'm secretly (in some dark part of my mind) glad to have it in the house just in case I badly need it. To do away with it makes it all so final. I know, I'm holding on to it, even as I try to quit. So what does that say about me?
I know it sounds discouraging but this is, honestly, where I am at right now. I'm willing to quit; I want to quit, but there's still a bit of self sabotage in there.
I'll continue reading and posting. Oh, and I've decided to go back to AA so I'm doing that next week. It's been months. And I will read all literature available to me during my vacay.
OK. Good night everybody.