thedallaskid

I had two events in the past week or two in which I came home from the bars completely blackout falling down drunk. I can't remember how I got through my apartment door, but I do know that both times I smashed my phone and had a lot of bruises. Missed phone calls from Uber drivers, etc. To make matters worse, I live in a fancy building and overheard some neighbors down the hall gossiping with one of the staff members at how I was falling down drunk. I officially quit drinking almost 72 hours ago, but I overheard this about 20 minutes ago. I had no idea anyone saw me. My shame spiral is even worse now, and I don't even want to leave my apartment. I'm so embarrassed and my anxiety is bad enough.

I have made the decision to quit for good, and my best friend and roommate helped me through the awful withdrawal I had for the first day, but I am still a little jittery and foggy. My drinking ranged from 4 beers a day to a bottle of wine a day, to 6 beers a day, then these past two weeks were like 12 beers a day, which hit me like I've never been hit before.

So now that I am officially in the recovery period, how did you guys get over all those feelings guilt and shame? Especially if you have to actually see the people you embarassed yourself in front of. To me it's a sign of my addiction, to them it was just a good piece of interesting gossip that I was bouncing off the walls and falling down on the floor. Ugh.

Sorry for the rant, this is my first post. Hi all!