I think that you are missing a pretty important point John. You say you have issues going out and meeting people in public, yet you just walked right into a liquor store and broke out in conversation with just about anyone. Why not just do the same at a coffee shop, or a library?
I'm also a little confused...are you still drinking? You mention going home to drink. You know none of this mess is going to get any better until you stop, right? I'm a drunk too, just like you. So is pretty much everyone else here...but that doesn't mean we can't make changes for the better, even with all the bad things in our past