2muchpain

I understand what your say Dee for the most part. But I have a few differences in what you said. First, when there is a lot of people at a liquor store, at least today they talk and that was real nice. They are all standing in line with nothing much to do, so sometimes they talk. That's what happened today and it was nice.
Second, I'm not trying to be popular. Being popular means standing out and that's the last thing I wanted. Even as a kid, I never wanted anybody to pay attention to me. I always sat in back of the class so nobody would notice me.
Thirdly, I always ask people about themselves which meant them talking about themselves forever. Of course they liked that and said what a good listener I was. Most of the time, that conversation stayed that way and never got back to me. Unfortunately due to my lack of social skills, I had a hard time turning the conversation back to me and when I did they lost interest cause they were apparently not interested in my life.
The bottom line Dee is that I was used and abused and I allowed that to happen and I have only myself to blame for this. People are always looking for someone to listen to them and help them with their problems. Can't blame them for that. I allowed myself to let this happen.
Now that I'm older and alone, I don't take great joy in knowing all the people I helped though I don't regret it. That's what I was born to do. I was hoping that human nature would mean there's a balance to things, but I'm finding out now that's just not the way it is. All the people I worked with that were on survival mode I now find myself doing the same thing, But's that's ok. I am surprised I'm still alive. John