2muchpain

I drop by liquor stores because sometimes I get lucky and it gives me somebody to talk to. Sometimes there's nobody there but the people working there. But they know me and we talk. Makes me feel like I count. One person working at a liquor stored shared her story about her life and how hard it's been. She thanked me for listening to her. People go to bars for the same thing. Today, a lady talked about the problems she is having with her high blood pressure. It's not all one sided. I learn a lot from these people.
I don't go to liquor stores to listen to other people's pain. Sometimes, it's more upbeat and positive. But then I get to go home, drink and forget about these experiences although I appreciate them. Same habit I had when I worked with troubled kids. I would hear and feel their pain and do what I could to help then go home and drink to feel better. Then get up the next day and do the same thing. Drinking fills me up when I feel empty.
Even today, people seem willing to tell me their problems. Been that way since I was a kid. Don't know why, just is. But it takes a toll on me that will eventually kill me. Would love to get out of this cycle, but I can seriously see me on my death bed and someone telling me how lousy their live is and me wanting to help. Pretty sick on both sides. John