Originally Posted by mns1

Hi everyone,

Been a while since I posted, and since my last several "I'm back" posts have been basically been me coming crawling back for help getting and staying sober, I am pleased to stop in with some good news this time.

Today marks thirty days since my last drink, and what a thirty days it has been. It actually took some rather dire circumstances for me to stop drinking, but here I am.

As some of you may recall, I suffer from ulcerative colitis, which is a chronic autoimmune inflammatory condition affecting the lining of the large intestine. I have had this disease for 11 years. Back in June, during a trip to Scotland (which was beautiful), I started noticing the symptoms of a colitis flare-up within a few hours of getting of the plane. I somehow made it through a week over there without my condition getting out of control and without letting it ruin what was an experience I will cherish forever.

So I grinded through the week, having a drink or two every time we went out to dinner (which was every night), but managing to limit it to that, not that any amount of alcohol is acceptable for an alcoholic. My condition remained under control, and it ended up being a nice trip overall.

But then I returned home, and it was back to drinking myself into a stupor every night. I did this despite my condition deteriorating. I refused to call the doctor and told myself that eventually things would just get better, even though deep down I knew this was not the case. I kept drinking, and my condition got worse and worse to the point where I could no longer go to work or even leave the house.

This was by far the scariest, most alarming, most desperate period of my alcoholism. I was drinking despite the fact I knew it was destroying my already deteriorating health. I was rapidly losing weight, losing blood internally, and felt as if the life was steadily draining from my body. If ever there was a prime example of insanity, this was it. Finally I said enough is enough. For the first time since my drinking problems started seven years ago, I felt that this was a matter of life and death. I stopped drinking and called the doctor.

Fast forward to today. Thirty days of sobriety under my belt, my colitis symptoms have almost completely subsided, and I am feeling more motivated than I have in years to move forward in life sober and happy.

The two biggest things I credit with my success thus far (besides the imperative of averting a health catastrophe) have been the support of my family, friends, doctors and therapist, and daily meditation practice. I started out meditating just 3 minutes a day and am now up to 10 minutes a day. This small daily investment of my time in just a month has given me significantly better awareness of my thought patterns and thus better control of my impulses. The urge to drink still creeps up, but I observe the feeling, let my thoughts settle, and that's that.

So this is where I'm at. I can't say I am going to be a daily presence on here but I wanted to check in and share this good news since SR has been such an unconditionally supportive place for me over the last few years. I do plan to check in periodically though as I plan to keep the milestones piling up!

I'll be around.

Mike