Dandy,
I can answer all of these questions. I was the "golden child", the scapegoat, the black sheep, the caregiver, the protector, and perhaps some others.
My father like me best. I was the "golden child". I was the only one that he wanted. My older sister he referred to as a mistake, the youngest sister was the unwanted one. I was the only one that was planned, except I was supposed to be a boy, so he treated me like his son.
My mom I guess decided she had to show more love and attention to my 2 sisters since they weren't getting it from their father. I was always craving love and attention from my mom, but I can understand all of that now. If anything went wrong, I was the one to blame, from both of my parents.
Now you might think the "golden child" was good, but it wasn't. My father called me fat and stupid everyday, criticized everything that I did. Kept comparing me to my sisters who were both skinny, and had really good grades. They got all A+, I would also get A+'s with a few A's. They weighed about 85 lbs at age 13- 14. I weighed 110 - 115lbs. Why did I put that in there? Because I know my father was abusive to me.
I became the "black sheep", in High School. I made friends with people of the wrong color. My dad really wanted to disown me, instead he grounded me almost every weekend between the ages of 15 and 16. He monitored all of my phone calls to see who I was talking to. I was also the first person in my family to get pregnant before getting married. So I was their "black sheep".
I was and am the caregiver in my family. Anyone gets sick, I'm there to help. I also do research for my mom on specific diseases and how to handle things. I know a lot about this since I worked for Social Security and took disability applications, and my mom trust me on this. I also helped her take care of her brother who was paralyzed from a stroke, and she took him in. I was living with her at the time, and my 2 sisters never did a thing for their uncle.
With that thing on facebook, "my parents", I am not friends with oldest daughter on facebook, it only showed up on mine, because she tagged my youngest daughter. Why do I freak out about this? A lot of times I have my cousins calling me when she makes posts like this. My cousins and I are really tight. They are really looking out to protect me, which they have done before with my daughter. I don't like getting them upset, and........ I know I didn't post it, but they rally around me. These are the ones that never believed my daughter when she said I called CPS on her, and then she went to their houses to smear me to them.
My mother is upset with me because I won't be the "bigger person" here, and just get over the things my daughter said to me in Dec. I told her twice already that I will not do that, and if she wants a relationship with me, then she should apologize to me and start showing me some respect. I also had to tell my mom again why I do not have to date or be with a man. So I think currently, I'm good there.
So, with my mom (who still calls my ex, her favorite son-in-law), and my 2 sisters, things are pretty good, except we need to avoid talking about oldest daughter and politics.
With my youngest children, age 33 and 30, we are doing really well, and they are finally seeing the person that I am, not the person that I was portrayed to be.
I know I missed a lot of in the middle things, but, I'll answer any questions. It may be helpful to someone.
(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
amy