I knew I had to write about this because it made me think about why it really bothered me. I usually do let everything this daughter says and does just roll right off my back. She began calling the gf "mom" about 6 months after the divorce when my ex and his gf moved in together. We weren't speaking at the time so it really didn't bother me. When I heard her telling her children to call her new bf "dad" less then one month after she left her husband, that did anger me, but I just figured that was just the way she is, so the "mom" thing never bothered me again.
I think what bothered me about "my parents" was that this was on facebook, where all my family can see this. (My family does not do this, and we have had divorces in the family. It's a respect thing.) Anyway, I think what upset me the most was that my family saw this and I was worrying about what my family would think. I know that's not my problem. I learned that here, that it's not my business or problem what other people think of me or her.
Christmas is a big trigger for me. My side of the family always got together on Christmas Eve. My ex took that day from me. Well, he took Christmas Eve and Christmas Day from me. My oldest daughter hosts Christmas Eve at her house, and she invites the ex, and his gf. For while she also invited my side of the family (my sister and her children, cousins and their children) until my side of the family wouldn't go anymore, because they wanted to see me, not my ex and his gf. This hurt me so much that the only way that I could deal with it was to create a new "Christmas tradition" for myself. I adopted my friends and their family as my own family. The people who cared about me, and loved me. We celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day, and I'm good with that. Just thinking of Christmas Eve triggers me. My sister also started a new family tradition. We get together between the 26th of Dec and before NYE. I think I have to stick with this tradition, because I'm just not capable of not knowing year to year where I will be on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
Thanksgiving-----my dtr-in-law is usually "on call". She works with bio defense, and I think she volunteers to be the one that is "on call", so that she can skip Thanksgiving at my oldest dtrs house. So, I can make that one. I am very thankful that my son and I are really close again.
Oh, BTW, my daughters fake wedding is coming up, it's in October. That's the one where she is going to have a reception, recite wedding vows, but not actually marry, because she can't, because she is still married. Well, I'm glad that "her parents" can attend that one. (lol).
As always, I'm glad I posted, because you make me think here, as to what the problem is that I am actually dealing with, instead of becoming overwhelmed and making myself crazy.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
amy