Yay, my computer is fixed with the only downside being that I don't eat for a week.
Have caught up with all, and can relate to all. The anger, the fear, the want for 'safety', and then we go take it out on ourselves, and that's the bit I'm working on, the not punishing of myself for things long past, many not within my control.
The drinking was in my control but I just didn't know how to really do it. Now, like Dee it is completely off the table as know now, to coin a phrase, there is nothing so bad that a drink won't make worse.
It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson with many lapses, relapses, glitches, blips along the way. I have never woken in the morning following a lapse thinking, "jeez, that was so good." Never, ever, ever.
Take a tip early ones, it don't work, so save yourself the time and get into real life where the wine is turned to sparking water straight from the Fountain of Youth. I'm already looking 10 minutes younger.
You are sounding heaps better Poppy and we are sober be it Day 1 or Day 101. Like you I found with each and every lapse/relapse (not recommended) that alcohol will never work for me, and my entire focus now being on strengthening my sobriety. I want life and I want it bad.
So good to see you Plenny. You are one determined girl and have never given up. Im still broke, how 'bout you? What a drag it is having no money, really restrictive. Looks like no live theatre for me this year. Oh, well, rock on. Hope you are still painting.
Before this post gets too long and I lose it will close with my love to kenton and kev, whose posts I have read and will respond soon. Love you both and loved the stories of botched highlights. Before it became fashionable a hairdresser turned my hair irridiscent blazing red, it was so horrible I couldn't leave the house.
Good to see you too Jillwink and congratulations on holding the line which ultimately as I've come to see, is not so much of an effort in itself (drinking) it is the dealing with my emotional and psychological states. Drinking will always exclude this journey for me, and I won't let it.
Haven't heard any further on your surgery Nands and hope all is OK. Couldn't agree more on mental state being behind a lot of physical stuff as well. Naturally not always the case but certainly true from my experience.
Well I'm back on deck Nobenders and we're all still here which makes me feel so happy irrespective of the hurdles we have faced and which lay before us. We are strong.
Your mate, Steely xxx.
Oh yeah, still sober.