tomsteve

i can give you some insight on how i was, but im going to say it is probably going to show what others here have been saying- theres no terminally unique alcoholic. when i did get sober, i thought i was quite unique- no one had experienced what i had. mentioned that to a man once. he laughed and said,"7 billion people on this planet at this time. over 100 million of them are alcoholics- and 100 million is probably very conservative- and youre the only one who is like how you are,eh?"
HUH!!!

so, as to
"Did you blame your exes for your drinking?"
i think that would depend on what stage of alcoholism i was at. at one time it wasnt just exes- i blamed EVERYTHING. you named it- it made me drink.

"Did you blame your exes for the breakdown of the relationship? "
again, depends on the stage of alcoholism i was at. earlier on it was ALWAYS their fault.
but as i progressed into alcoholism, i knew it was me. there were a few times i would be quite surprised they stayed around as long as they did.

"When your exes ended the relationship were you hurt or angry?"
that one didnt seem to matter what stage of alcoholism i was at and varied. sometimes i really didnt give a crap and was quite happy they ended it. sometimes i hurt like hell. there was one woman that was a complete angel and had her poop in a group- didnt drink, had her priorities straight, was kind, caring, and compassionate, and didnt allow me to be a drunken ass around her. and i knew deep down inside that the drinking was going to be the end of the relationship, yet no matter how hard i tired, i couldnt not drink.
angry???
ME!?!??! get angry!?!?!?!? nnnnnNNNNAAAAAaaaa.
yeah, its my lie and ill tell it!
yes, i got angry. not after the end of every relationship.theres a book i used to help me get sober and in that book it mentions an alcoholic can have varying trait. and that was me.
but then again, i got angry at a LOT. the common denominator when i got angry- when things didnt go my way.

"If there are any other things you can think of that might shed light on the situation I would like to hear them."


heres where i might rile ya up.
you didnt cause it
you cant control it
you cant cure it.

minnie, ive been on both sides of the fence, which the codie part i didnt know of or address until after i was a few years sober. what these people are saying here comes from the their experience, and if i didnt know any better, i swear 2 or 10 of them have typed about me!

what they type doesnt only come from experience, it comes from their hearts. they WERE in your shoes and experienced every single feeling and emotion you are or have. they have found solutions and share what they share out of love.

so, one last ramble here:
when i got sober, i was told some things straight up, no sugar coating, and just how it was. them bastaads pizzed me right off!!!
because it was the truth. and they told me what they told me straight up, no sugar coating, and just how it was because they knew THAt was the fastest,easiest way to get it through to me AND because they cared about me. if they didnt care about me they wouldnt have taken the time to do it.
and THAT saved my life( not sayin to go and try it with you A- its best to come from a recovered A)
and the same thing happened when i addressed the codependency- straight up, no sugar coating, and just how it was.
and THAT saved me from God only knows how many more years of gloom,dispair,and agony.
PLUS
what they both did was help me learn more about me and how to love myself.
man, rereading that, i was a quite a wreck!
huh, that explains the crowbar used to pop my head outta my but!