I think the realization that I have to give up on him is finally hitting me. I guess I thought if he loved me as much as he said he did he would have quit.
you aren't giving UP on him - you are realizing that someone you have been seeing for nine months just isn't gonna work out as a longer term partner. you were still getting to know him. but you'd seen enough.
saying I Love You is one thing - acting that out on a consistent daily basis is quite another. alcoholics SAY a lot of things........but it's what they DO that we have to watch. especially things like:
He manhandled me, screamed at me, kept trying to grab the wheel while I was driving, wouldn't let me leave his house, etc
he was a drinker when you met and had been for a long time. you wren't dealing with a rookie. long term confirmed drinkers/alcoholics do not quit because they find LOVE. they already have their one true love - alcohol. and they will cherish it, protect it, DEFEND it, fight for it, DIE for it.