While I can appreciate what you are saying let me ask - have you ever been in this situation?
Why YES, YES I have, spent 13 years in that situation waiting/hoping for someone else to change.
I understand that this situation is unique and new to you but not to many of us here on SR. Sadly almost daily someone like you shows up here with their story, the same story many of us here on SR have heard a million times. We know how it ends; it’s basically the same script with different characters playing the roles.
The scars we share become lighthouses for other people who are headed to the same rocks we hit.