Minnie....I have never had to break up with an alcoholic, myself...but, I can try to "shed this much light"------blame shifting is very common...almost universal...with active alcoholics. It is necessary for them to to do this to protect their drinking behaviors. If they took full responsibility for their actions...they wouldn't be able to stand it---because the only logical thing would be to stop drinking---which feels like a death sentence to a person who can't function without it.
If they couldn't blame others, they would have to face up to themselves.
This is not a viable option for them.
They MUST believe that the fault lies outside of themselves---like, on you.
This is all a part of the "alcoholic thinking" and the denial that goes along with the disease.
What he is doing is a part of the disease. He is being controlled, right now, by the disease...and, the disease doesn't care a twit about your welfare...not his, either,for that matter....It destroys the person and all of those who are close to the alcoholic if they let it....