Originally Posted by
Forward12 
Often times we think that our alcoholism is self contained, but it also hurts those closest to us just as much, if not more than ourselves.
I'm assuming the alcoholism has been going on for quite a while with many failed promises to stop. Granted his outburst was uncalled for, though it is a reflection of how much alcoholism brings hell to spouses as well.
I would really put everything into your sobriety, go to AA every day, maybe numerous times a day, start seeing a therapist for your depression issues, rehab may also be in order.
Agreeing w/this^^.
I'm from "the other side of the fence", ex-wife of a still-drinking A. There were broken promises and outright lies from him for YEARS before I finally ended the marriage. How many times has your husband heard promises of sobriety, of "doing better", yada yada? I
totally get the frustration, pain, anger and betrayal he felt when he saw you'd been drinking once again. Part of the recovery for us F&F people is to learn to not take the drinking personally (the usual phrase is "he's not drinking AT you"), but damn, it is HARD not to take it personally!
No, it's
not right that your husband said and did what he did, but if YOU are "only human", relapsed and now are back on your feet, trying again, I don't see why HE doesn't deserve the same latitude and consideration for HIS slip.
I don't know your backstory, how long you've been sober, or what all has happened leading up to this point. All I've got to go on is this snapshot, so I could be way off base. But please understand that yes,
yes, YES, the drinking DOES hurt people other than the alcoholic. We, the spouses/partners/friends/parents/siblings/children of alcoholics, have our own recovery to work through and our own recovery tools to learn to use. We are no more guaranteed to be perfect in our use of those tools than any of the alcoholics we love are guaranteed to be perfect in THEIR recovery.
Keep doing your best, and hopefully your husband will do the same. You both made mistakes here, and you're not the first, last or only ones to do so.