why i dont drink
day 9 of being sober, somehow found myself in an unplanned, unscheduled meet up with people that I really could not avoid without looking very very rude. Long story short, I accepted I was in that situation and I cant control everything, but I drank coke, I was happy drinking coke, and had made a plan that the moment a thought or the voice sounds up. I am leaving on the spot, no hanging about. I am gone.
Eventually the question came up, why don't I have a proper drink as I don't have the kids and was not driving (was local). I didnt know some of these people well and had never ever been asked why I am not drinking as I usually had a pregnant belly to explain myself! I had no prep for an answer, I had replied 'I don't drink' when asked, but when they said 'why not?' I really had no answer. But I found the words come out my mouth without thinking, my reply was 'because I get emotional and chaotic when I drink, and I need to look after this (and pointed at my temple)..... its corny, and cheesy and all those things. But its the truest words ive said, and the very basis of why I am doing what I am. Nobody said a thing after that. it was just an 'ok then' and we all moved on.
I'm quite shocked how that affected me saying those words out loud to someone. I'm more shocked, that I don't care how it was received, because its the truth. And I don't care to be fake anymore