Del, I don't think anyone would be able to relax in your situation. But you were sober and you were 100% there -- imagine, though it's horrible to imagine -- the same thing with a passed-out drunk mom.
You say you believe that you get what you put in. But bad things happen to good people, and nothing can stop that. "Putting in" is putting effort into yourself mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually, so that you won't be beaten down by bad things but will grow through them.
You're already doing that, I think. You raise your head up here every day, even when you'd rather not. That's strength.