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Goodnite Mariah ,...sounds beautiful out there on the river .
Izzy,
Just reading Free's thoughts on how the process went for her sounds like textbook Addictive Voice Recognition Technique ( AVRT )
Without her having " actually made a proper decision - a no turning back kind of decision "
There is no AVRT .
When you mention ," ...about 2 pm. Then it's like confusion sets in and I really start to see drinking as the answer. "
It implies you have no idea that is not really YOU ,....but only your AV you are unable to recognize .
And it seems to any rational person the internal dialogue, is indeed you . Of course it is , right !?
Nope ,....it's just your AV. Freein used to describe that voice ( her AV ) years ago as her " gremlins " ,.....
In quite the condensed version ,...of AVRT ,...the" technique" part is to first, ...learn to recognize any and all AV ,....and never , ....never ever ... engage with it .
The AV is nothing to be fearful of since it's just residing down in our lower brain . The part of our brain that has helped us survive with all important instincts .
Stuff like hopping out the way of oncoming busses, or running from bears ...or the desire for pleasure . Without a doubt drinking has a huge pleasurable component to it ,....... until it gets out of whack . Sometimes causing minor ,...to eventually major problems ,...or as they say in AA ,...causing our life to become " unmanageable ".
What a quaint expression !?
Izzy ,...you can look up and read plenty about the " Big Plan " they describe in AVRT here at SR ,....as millions upon millions of people have given up drinking years before the "recovery " side of things spread out . A hundred years ago,...in the church the " Big Plan " was called "the pledge "
AVRT is as ancient as can be . It's sure nothing new in there ,...except maybe it's a bit antithetical to modern "recoveryism "
and , well ,...I reckon everyone gotta " protect their own turf " as it goes .
I have full confidence in your success getting through the demanding initial part of early sobriety .
Dee, Freein and I can all assure you it gets wa..aaaay way easier as times goes on .