'newcomer' chronic relapsing
Hello,
Am a newcomer to the forum and a new comer with 1 day 'sober'. After having a few years of sobriety I made the decision to let up on my recovery and eventually picked back up. That was 5 years ago. Since then, I have had the desire to not use and feel i have been using against 'my desires'. I obtain 3 months of sobiety and that is the longest i have been able to obtain. I am a 12 step believer in that that i where and how i was a ble to get and be sober for a few years. I desperately want the freedom of sobriety and the thirst for it is there, but cannot seem to put together any time longer than 90 days in the past 5 years. So so defeated and baffled. I have tried the suboxone route, taking the 12 steps, meetings daily and feel like i am just out of steam and don't know what the point in trying any more is? anybody out there ever been stuck like this with true, honest willingness and desire, in and out and then finally able to get and stay sober? what did it take? what did you do? Been an 'opiate' addict for 15 yrs with 4 years of incredible sobriety in the middle there.
Glad to be a part of this forum. Have read and read for years but don't do this internet thing too much. Thanks for any feedback or suggestions.