My pattern was alcoholism. The days I didn't drink were the days I had massive hangovers. To weak and tired to drink. Vulcan it sounds like you have the same thing everyone else has here. Alcoholism. Rock bottom or not you have to quit in order to live. Or live a miserable life being drunk and sick for years and years.
Commit to sobriety for 90 days. If you don't like it, start drinking again. But I can absolutely assure you sobriety is better without question.
Stay with us. It gets better.