I guess my question is does this get better? If this man tries to come back in my life how have you handled a similar situation? Mostly, how do you learn to trust again
Yes it gets better but it takes time and a lot of work on ourselves to get to a happy place. I found going NC worked best. I blocked my exah ( we were married 20 years) on social media, email, phone and asked mutual friends and my adult kids to not discuss him with me. He was not allowed to come to my place but if he had I'd have not opened the door. The more contact I had the harder it was to let go. The less the easier it got to focus on myself and my own happiness.
You say you have a hard time dating. Then don't. I wasn't ready for dating for a very long time. I had to take the time to sort out my own issues and that can't be hurried. I love being single now. My first date post divorce was a disaster of sit com variety and I actually got out the poor man's car in a traffic queue and jumped over a sea wall to get away from him. It was cos I wasn't ready cos that same man has become one of my greatest friends. I cannot imagine life without him now.
You'll trust again when you have learnt to trust yourself first. xx