FallenAngelina

Of course, every person has their own timeline, but this was a year long relationship, not a marriage of several decades. After five months, if you're still feeling weak and vulnerable to falling back into the relationship, then very likely there is a lot going on for you now that pre-dates this man and that's likely why you still feel wounded. Yes, your experience of him brought up beautiful, deep love, but it also very likely brought up a lot that needed to be dealt with in yourself.

I find that this is another reason that Al-Anon and therapy are helpful, especially in the early months as we separate - and remember, I'm one month into my separation of a year and a half long relationship. They keep us focused on our own inner lives, our own issues, our own patterns, our own habits of thought, which is where the growth and healing are going to happen. Focusing on the A, his behavior, his feelings, whether or not he wants you back, etc. etc., keeps us locked in the unhealthy cycle of looking to others for our emotional fuel, for better or worse. Despite the enormity of the love you share(d), if you're still in the depths after five months after a year long relationship, then that's a big clue that healing needs to come from introspection and reflection on your entire life. It's not just about this one relationship and letting time pass. Your thread title asks how long it takes for your wound to heal. In my experience, healing takes about as long it does to find my very own soul again.