Originally Posted by
Bittersweetlove 
I was in a relationship ( for a year) with a man that is an alcholic. It was my first experience and I handled in naively, because I loved him deeply. We broke up 5 months ago, his drinking had reached a troubling level and he was isolating us from his family. It was a heartbreaking breakup that truly left me stunned and questioning my ability to discern who should be in my life.
I moved to another city just to avoid the push and pull of this relationship. I thought by now I would be over it. I'm not at all. He called me at 2:30 am on Monday and even though I didn't answer it has thrown me for a loop. I miss him and love him yet know I can't be with him. I have a hard time dating now because I have my boundaries so high I would rather not let anyone in. Even great guys I seem to not be able to go on more than two dates before I stop seeing them.
Sadly, my ex is angry with me for reason I'm not sure of except that I have moved away. I think it's hard to handle the pernamence of that type of moving on and anger might be easier for him to deal with vs. loss. Either way, I wish he didn't hate me. It's hard to think of someone I still care for loathing me.
I guess my question is does this get better? If this man tries to come back in my life how have you handled a similar situation? Mostly, how do you learn to trust again? How do you stop worrying about them coming back and whether or not you will be strong enough to stand you ground? I feel weak and worry my love for him will overshadow what is right for me if he keeps coming back.
Hi BSL
I'm sorry for what you are going through
I think you need to step back & examine your relationship. His drinking problem was bad enough that inspite of loving him deeply you chose to leave the realationship. Something was very wrong. It was bad enough that you moved to another city. To get away. You said after you moved he called at 2:30 am on a Monday. That's not normal A normal person calls at a respectful time. None of this are signs of a happy healthy relationship
You also said it was a heartbreaking breakup which left you stunned. Is this a man you want to spend your precious life with?
You can't control his drinking now that you are apart you can't control how he feels about you. If you are not going to be with him you have to stop thinking about how he feels about you
Everyone is different as to healing from a relationship. You may need to get some help from a professional so you can find peace with your decision & life. Trying to rush & date other guys may be too much at this point. You may need more time to heal from this relationship.
If you really want to stay away from your ex &. You don't trust yourself you may need to block his number or change yours
It's ok to continue to love & care for him. I still love & care for mine. I just know I can't be with her. I can't see or talk to her. I can still love her
Just so you know it's all still very difficult for me. I am 6 weeks in All of these things are easy to say but hard to do
Going forward your going to slowly trust someone new by their actions over time. Not so much their words
I wish you all the best. I hope you find peace with your decision