lizatola

I finally finished my company requirements to officially be given the title of Financial Advisor! YAY! Right? Well, sort of. I haven't really taken any time to let it sink in because I now have a million things to do and my marketing materials are a mess, my prospect base is dwindling, and I only have 4 months to prove to the company that I can bring in assets so I really haven't sat down to give myself a pat on the back.

For years, I wanted to hear my parents say they were proud of me. I so badly wanted their approval but my dad was never happy with my results at anything, and I didn't realize that it wasn't about me, it was about him, but that lesson came in my 40s but I also realized it was never too late to learn, either.

I never really learned how to be proud of myself, honestly. I graduated from college and didn't even attend the ceremonies because no one in my family made a request to learn more about it or know about it so I just had my diploma mailed to me. I still, to this day, do not know how to handle compliments or recognition.

Anyway, yesterday I asked my bf if he was surprised that I made it as far as I had. He looked shocked and hurt that I said it and I realized it was the wrong thing to say. He said, "What? Of course I knew you'd make it through all of this! I would have never suggested you go this route if I didn't have faith you'd make it all the way. I truly believe you're going to be great at this job!" "That would be a terrible thing to do to someone; setting them up for failure." In the back of my mind all this time, I thought he was just testing me, seeing what I was made of, or waiting for me to fail (because that's what my XAH did). I kept thinking I had to prove him wrong, while all along I now realize I didn't have to prove anything to anybody but myself.

Later he told me this, "babe, you went from stay at home mom with no current career skills to financial advisor. You had personality and strength and charm, but your executive skills, study skills, office management skills, and business skills were lacking. I'm so proud of you! Not everyone has the balls to go door to door in 115 degree heat and to make it through all those brutal tests and company requirements for all those months. To face rejection, to deal with the mental and physical demands of this job already is a sign of strength. You failed the tests in the beginning, but you tried again. Give yourself credit!"

I nearly broke down in tears (I had also started my period yesterday so I was on an emotional precipice to begin with, lol). I've had friends praise me for what I was doing but to hear it from my bf spoken with gentleness and admiration really made my day. I guess I hadn't stopped long enough to give myself any credit for even getting this far in my journey.

I want to encourage those of you who are staying with an AH for financial reasons to please believe in yourself, in your abilities, in your strengths and fortitude.......it was one of the things that kept me down and kept me staying with my XAH, my inability to see that I was stronger than I believed. I was beaten down, I felt like I had no valuable skills, I was financially dependent on him, and I felt trapped. I still have a long way to go, but no matter what I am far more marketable in the job world than I was even a year ago. I am so grateful to bf and my company, which I truly believe is one of the best companies in the world for training and employee support, but most of all I'm grateful to all of you. I may have never moved on if it hadn't been for the support of my Al Anon program and my friends here at SR. Thank you all!