Bolete - in the same boat. My boyfriend of 2 years is an alcoholic - cycles through brief periods of sobriety and then falls off the wagon. It's happened a million times. Sometimes I can even predict it. I adore him when he's sober. He's as close as anyone has come to feeling like a soul mate (if you believe in that sort of thing) and so I get so angry and crazy when he's drinking. I'm trying to follow the adage of "just take care of yourself" but it's really hard. I went to a couple of al-anon meetings, but I'm not sure that's for me. I was happy to find this thread and to read your post - thanks for sharing. It's good to hear from someone who's in a similar situation but hasn't left yet. I'm not at the point where I'm interested in leaving him. Maybe I'm crazy. I guess we'll see. He came home tonight completely hammered and passed out. Now I'm the one that can't sleep. Good luck to you and to me. Guess we gotta keep trying to care for ourselves and let our partners do their own work. It's the only way.