Originally Posted by
applewakesup 
Dear Missy,
I feel for you so much. You don't see a way out and every solution seems impossible. I wish I could deliver a moment of clarity for you where you could see the clear path. When your current situation is so unacceptable that you will make it work. For example, you say your cats are keeping you from going into rehab. I'm sure there are several animal rescue organizations that would have someone to foster for you.
My point is, once you decide to end this nightmare you are living in, you will find solutions to all the reasons you have for staying addicted.
I hope you will take this in the loving manner that I mean it. Keep posting here, even if you are not ready to quit. This group will inspire you to make healthy changes.
I know there would be good people who would care for my cats but I don't even like to leave them for a day,they are sometimes the only reason I'm still here ... I am going to make my appointment with one of the organisations very soon and be brave and tell them what a mess I am in ,for now just having the response from all you lovely people is already feeling like I am not quite so alone , you understand and that's not something I'm used to, people/friends/loved ones normally just shrug there shoulders and don't know what to say! Including my bf,he tries but I spose if you've never experienced a panic attack then how can they understand....
I have days when I feel really like my old self,where I can tackle anything and feel quite strong,but they soon go bk to this .
The last three days I have not drank my body weight in booze or pills,and have told my bf not to buy me any as I'm going to try again to not drink and take so many pills ,now all I want to do is sleep but I can't :/
This group is quite amazing,and inspiring I'm so glad I came across it by mistake actually, googling one of my many symptoms of panic attacks after drinking. Xx thanks for your reply
