Really good post. It reminds me in some ways of some of the volunteer work I used to do around domestic violence education in which we used the workplace comparison as a way of getting at the idea that abusers just "lose control" or "can't help themselves". "Does the abuser yell and hit people in his/her workplace? Probably not, right? So s/he can control his/her violent impulses when s/he wants to. You should expect nothing less at home". Addiction may be similar.