I am so grateful to have found you... All your posts. All hit home!
Finally it's clicking. Finally others who understand! I am not alone!
This is the first time in months if not years I can see it is not me.
There is a Real glimmer of Realization.
Even after years of Al-Anon
It has been a rough 2 decades +. (I almost wrote centuries
it feels it) the last 2 years going through long divorce. I have been beating myself up, isolating, beyond depressed, angry, hurt, anxiety and panic, tried to commit suicide. I am so ashamed of the things I did after I found out he had a double, if not a triple life. For more than a year I tried to self destruct. I am so grateful and Blessed to still be alive and here at this moment. I finally had to divorce. Wish I had long ago. It wasn’t even close to easy. But I was replaced long ago, by alcohol, fast cars, gambling, women and I had no clue just how much.
Now 2 months divorced and I am in a safe, beautiful little apartment. Not what I had, she has that all now. I know I will heal. I know I have a long way to go. Years of thinking that needs to change. So much to still overcome... Rebuild.
LOL I am so okay at the moment. I know after reading the posts, I will be okay! I know I will still isolate, shut down, bawl my eyes out, panic and yes, even miss him...okay enough negative. Now, at this moment, I have hope. Time to build a beautiful life!
Honestly my heart goes out to all of you who are struggling and want to leave but…well I have been there…not easy but so worth it, at this point…so so worth it….I am worth it!
Not all need to leave. I was one who should have left long ago.
To those who are already finding some Peace and Serenity, many, many, many thanks for the hope you have given me today!
My word but we are all stronger than we think!
I am still here and still standing!
