Don't wait for the "sober fairy" Stewy. She's not going to show up and fix everything for you. I can relate to your post ... I was stuck in the same endless loop. Kept waiting for someone or something to help me quit drinking.
The answer lies within ... I say this with compassion, my sober fairy never showed up either. Funny thing is... she was here all along, I just didn't know it.
Until you're ready to stop the madness, a million posts won't help you stop. I pray you find your strength, Stewy.