Originally Posted by
joandmelandhan 
Perhaps a good start is to pledge to be utterly honest HERE. Trust me there is nothing you can post that would remotely shock anyone here. In the past I've covered up my drinking even here on SR but think about it. What is the point of that? It ends up just being an extension of social media.....something to fill the time and make us feel less lonely. But to my mind I see SR as a community of people supporting another in order to live a happy and sober life. You don't need to put the fake sheen of "I'm okay" here. Quite simply it won't help you one bit.
That was exactly what prompted me to come out and tell the truth yesterday. Before that, i'd come on SR, read a few threads, comment here and there, sign out and go back home and drink everyday. Of course I felt guilty. Plus, I really didn't want to actively come back here while still drinking because it can be a trigger for some people and, having quit before, I know I can do it again. So what am I waiting for? A disaster to happen? God forbid. Or to hit rock bottom? Plus, I know that tapering off or monitoring my intake in a bid to reduce how much I drink would be impossible. Once I start, I don't stop till I've blacked out or fallen asleep.
Yesterday, while watching a movie in which a bartender was preparing a shot for a client, my mind wandered back to when I first started drinking (I was 20 years old). My then boyfriend was a big drinker and introduced me to the flaming sambuca shot. While I drank it out of curiosity, I felt no urge at all to keep drinking it nor even to indulge in any other alcohol. Wow, boy do I miss the purity of my soul and spirit back then!