good on ya for the job, recognizing a problem, and hittin 2 meetings!
i had a LOT of insecurities when i got into AA.
thats a lie.
i had a LOT of insecurites loooooong before i got into AA yet didnt know it.
the steps helped tremendously with it all.
i cant remeber where you were in the steps, but the 4th step and beyond will help tremendously.
ya know, one sentence im glad is on pg164 of the BB and NOT in the front cover:
Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
if i would have seen that "trudge" blahblahblah in the front- oh man!! LOLOLOL
but it is what it is- sometimes we have to trudge.
along with typin here, howz about pickin up that 2495 lb phone and callin a couple people in AA? maybe yer sponsor?