Loving an addict is like kicking a cactus over and over with no shoes on.
My son is a life long addict. He is 38 yrs old. In and out of rehabs and so on.
It never ends. Until he is ready it will continue to stay the same. So you must ask yourself if you really want to stay on the roller coaster with him, or renew your self with a new life. You deserve a GOOD life, why not take a chance and make one for yourself? I hope your pain eases. I know how hard it is. I also have an ex husband who bacame severely addicted to opiates. He was a big level manager, making a very good income. One month and all that was GONE. All because of getting addicted to oxycontin. Yep, he lost every thing he had worked for all his life. When it became unbearable, I had to leave to preserve what sanity I had left. I found that over time, I felt better about everything especially my own self. I didn't deserve a life like that.
Alanon was my saviour and still is.