I'll share knowing that it may or may not be of any help. Many years ago I had an affinity for a certain drug. Let's just say I liked the way it smelled. I went through a few years and did copious amounts of this drug. It took me to some dark dark places. Towards the end I was trying to get out of the scene and was on occasion offered some, I partook just a minute amount and it send me into full blown panic. I'm convinced it was my conscience telling me that I should not be doing it. To this day I think if I had even a tiny amount it would send me into a complete tailspin. It would be more psychological than anything. Maybe that's what happened to you?