Yeah, I agree, Alanon would be a great idea for YOU!
You can tell your wife that it's a good idea for her, but I recommend only saying it once.
Getting her to change her thinking and get to some meetings will can more than likely prove just as defeating as getting her son to stop drinking. I think this place and Alanon can help YOU a lot!
Im sorry for what you are going through - HUGS to you!