Maybe the solutions not trying harder Axe but doing things differently.
I tried really hard not to drink but I kept drinking cos that was the only string on my bow.
Maybe you need to find some real life support - AA or some other recovery group, or a doctor or counsellor, outpatient rehab?
I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option - no matter what - for for good.
I had to learn to short circuit that decision to drink and understand I had the power to come here, or somewhere in the real world, to be talked out of it instead.
It wasn't much fun at the time but I'm incredible grateful for that now.
I believe you can do this axe - but use both hands - it's not much good fighting with one hand behind your back.
Go hard as they say.
D