Hi Kev
Thanks for your advice Dee! I think I tend to obsess a bit too much with the past. Maybe it has to do with wanting to control things and trust issues. But I often think that by analysing the past I will get a glimpse of the future. So if someone acted horribly in the past I tend to assume that they will do the same
in the future. Which makes it hard to live in the moment or to forgive. Probably something worth having a closer look at.
I've probably spoken about the novel The Shack before. It opened my mind a lot about forgiveness and what that means, for myself and for others.
It's written in a Christian framework but it's not evangelical. I think anyone here who wants to read it would get something from it.
The main lesson I got from it - and I'm paraphrasing - is 'its hard to move on with your hands locked around someone's throat'.
The other main thing is that forgiveness need not mean a reconcilliation or allowing them to get in a position where they can hurt me again - it's about me being able to move on.
D