Kev I've been thinking about your posts a lot and could probably talk to each and every point in detail, but will try to find a nutshell which I always find better. Only my thoughts kev, in the hope they might help.
You are going through a lot of changing circumstance kev in both your personal relationship, and with alcohol.
And kev, you don't have to explain your not drinking to ANYONE! At weddings and stuff it's nice to have something soft in a fancy glass to fit with the mood, but REALLY no one cares, and if they do they're stupid.
From my experience the overthinking does my head in, so to use a hackneyed phrase kev, "when in doubt, play a pawn". Meaning as you'd know, you don't have to win the game in first move. You sit and think about your next move.
I can remember a woman when I first attended AA saying for me to not rush things. At the time it didn't mean much to me and wanted it now, but now when I look back I can see that she was right.
Why not just sit with what you have at the moment, continue going to your AA meetings, keep learning, reflecting, coming here and maybe meditating to quietening the chatter. Play a pawn kev.