Dear Context,
How are you today? I keep thinking of you. The '95 in your screen name caught my attention when I saw your first post.. because that's the year my first child was born. You are so young, and I heard such sadness, heartache and longing in your first post. You have a whole life ahead of you, and it's within your power to change the road you are on.
You asked for us to wish you luck in resisting the liquor store.. it's more than luck.. it's you making a decision and acting on it, reaching out for help here and, if possible, there at home too. You are worth it! If you keep going the way you are, absolutely nothing will change, it will only get worse.
Can your parents help you get help? You said you are wheezing and your stomach hurts, that you feel you've done damage to your body. Can you see a doctor? He or she can help you get the local help you need.
Even though you spent money on that rum, it doesn't mean you need to pour it through your body. It will have cost you just as much to pour it in the drain as it would to pour through your liver. Your body can heal, you can get better.
All this is said with love, being the mom that I am! Please let us help you.
Hugs.