I in many ways had an idyllic childhood.
I was well tended when it came to many physical needs, and well taught with many educational items.
Neither of my parents lived with addiction to a substance. My mother is a workaholic however.
I KNOW my mother grew up in an alcoholic household. As I have learned more about addiction I believe my father did also.
There is a lot of untreated co-dependent behaviors in my family of origin, and my extended families. I have come to believe that what has come easily to me (school, managing finances, work ethic, etc) was what I was taught and my family could touch in on.
What I did not see and thus did not learn was anything to do with emotions. To feel that void and not sit with my own stuff I started looking for things outside myself to meet the needs. In my family it was a lack of emotions and truthfully a strong dose of culture/religious stuff that helped create me.
I come by my co-dependent behaviors honestly.
I also don't believe I am co-dependent. To me it is like saying a patient in healthcare is cancer/diabetes/heart disease. They are a patient, living with a disease and that is how I see my co-dependency. I have struggled with co-dependency, I at times still express co-dependent behaviors, but I am a human being, not a human doing, and don't want to pin myself into a definition of myself with a dis-ease.
I am 7+ years out from the ending of my relationship that got me here.
I TRULY believe my relationship that got me here was in my life so I could heal from what was not provided to me in my childhood.
I also believe that this healing is part of what our journey here is for. I brought someone into my life living with an addiction so I could heal, and hopefully not have to learn those lessons again.