Hi everyone,
Kev - so pleased your dad is getting better. Incredible that after everything he's gone through, he's missing chardonnay! I hope he continues to recover. It doesn't sound good you having to go back to the place where those awful things happened. I think you're so brave Kev. You've been through so much and you're recovering so well and you're still so young. I want you to carry on doing so well because you can then spend decades being an inspiration to others. Don't ever forget how strong you are Kev xx
Steely, thank you for your lovely words. Reading your posts makes me so happy to be here and share this world with awesome people like you. You always make me laugh and you always say stuff that makes me think. Not many people can carry off the humour/wisdom combo but you got it down, Steely. You should run for president or something. I'd vote for you. Still not being political Dee, just think Steely would be a good world leader.
Ananda, that's amazing what you said about the fear of anger. I know that I always thought anger was bad because I was never allowed to express any emotions as a child, especially not anger. It makes sense that all the suppressed anger builds up and then explodes like a volcano when someone cuts me up on the road. I also like what you said about belonging in this world; not having anything to prove. Actually, I love that. I'm going to have that locked in my mind tomorrow because something is happening tomorrow that I am dreading. One of my brother's kids is having his first holy communion tomorrow and my brother wants me and my family to be there. But my mum and my sisters will be there and I feel sick at the thought of seeing them because they don't like me at all. Even a month ago, I would have made an excuse not to go but now I want to go because I want to see how far I've come. I want them to see I'm sober and strong. And obviously if it's too awful I can leave. So I think I need to channel my inner Buddha and practice RAIN a lot between now and tomorrow afternoon but I'm going to go. I'm going to face my fears and I'm going to face them sober. And if all goes wrong, I can just imagine becoming a Dalek again. That worked yesterday.
Just wanted to say thank you all so much for being there. I never knew there were people like you lot. Hell, if I'd known there were people like you, maybe I wouldn't have started drinking in the first place. But then if I hadn't started drinking, I never would have met you. I feel like I was destined to meet each of you. I'm learning so much from you all. Love, respect and thanks to each of you xxxx