First Therapy Session!
Hey y'all! I had my first therapy session last night and I feel really good about it. We went through a lot of my issues and she seemed really excited to work with me on them. We discussed my body image issues, anxiety, lack of passion for life, etc. She brought up some work we can do on my coping mechanisms and not getting my hopes up for things that are out of my control. We talked a good bit about AH and how I feel about his actions and how I react to them. One of the biggest things that I forget that I can do is tell him that I don't want to talk about something and stand my ground.
Example: AH and I have polar opposite views on gay rights, abortion and organ donation (which is funny because when we were dating our views were exactly the same and then he changed his mind). Whether he's drunk or not, he likes to push these topics and it ends up in a big stupid fight because he pushes and pushes and pushes and then I choose to explode. Instead of engaging, she asked me to tell him that I don't WANT to talk about it and if he persists to remove myself from the situation - which never seemed like an option before.
It just goes to show how deeply I've shoved my needs and wants into the ground because even expressing them seems taboo to me. So I have a lot to work on, but I'm glad that I found this therapist and that she seems to be a good match for me. I'm hopeful that this is the first step in making some genuine changes in my quality of life.