Originally Posted by
dandylion 
I can't help but think the fact that your father was abusive to your mother (and you?)....must be some factor in why you have been so determined to hang on, even though he was being so mean to you....
I don't know if you have seen a therapist, but, if not, I think that you should gift yourself with that asap....you need the support and you probably have some baggage of your own to gain insight into....(we tend to repeat our patterns).....
You sound quite healthy and on your way to a good life without this BF, but this part of your childhood is worth thinking more about. Like you, I was an older child bed wetter and it often signals inordinate emotional stress in the home. I know this was so for me. Perhaps this relationship can still do some good for you and lead you to work on and heal some childhood pain that keeps showing up in present day relationships. The patterns we repeat will be emotional patterns, not necessarily our going for the same type of person over and over. The characters can look very different from one another, but the emotional pattern is eerily similar.